How I Went From Crippling Fear Walking Into Work Meetings To Confidently Managing the Situation (In Under 30 Minutes).

Working in the male-dominated Information Technology (IT) world gave me plenty of opportunity to try out various coping strategies.

I’ve refined these down to 10 key meeting strategies which I personally use to be confident, in control and acknowledged as a professional in the workplace.

CONFIDENCE STRATEGIES FOR WORK MEETINGS

1.   BREATHE

Before going into a meeting (and even in a stressful meeting) slow down your breathing.

METHOD:

Breathe in your nose for the count of four.

Breathe out silently through your mouth, for the count of five.

Repeat 3 times. 

2.   GIVE THANKS

While preparing for the meeting, say a quiet prayer (or use whatever method you prefer) to wish the people you are about to meet happiness, love and joy.

Thank your Spiritual Guide for helping you to do the best you can at this meeting. 

3.   PREPARE

Keep in mind the reason for the meeting. While doing this:

• Write down what you want to get out of the meeting (the meeting objective).
• Note any questions you need answered at the meeting.
• Note any information you need to provide to the meeting.
• Make copies of any relevant documents/images to share.
• Take your notebook and a working pen to the meeting.
• Take some water to the meeting. It’s often stuffy in those meeting rooms.

4.   BEING A PROXY

If you are representing someone else (your supervisor or other person) at the meeting do these things:

• Talk to the person to find out what they expect from the meeting.
• Ask them what they would like you to do or say at the meeting.
• If you are to take notes only from the meeting and report back, you can introduce yourself as the person’s proxy and that you are attending as an observer only.
• Make notes from the meeting and then meet with the person to debrief them on what happened, who said what and report any actions allocated.

5.   DRESS APPROPRIATELY

Enquire about who will be attending the meeting. If they are senior managers, and the tone of the meeting is formal, dress accordingly. If the meeting is informal wear your usual work clothes.

Feeling comfortable in a group setting is closely linked to how you dress. If you’re a person who prefers to stand out, make a statement, that is OK too, but I have found that blending into the group helps me to assimilate faster.  

6.   READ THE AGENDA AND ANY DOCUMENTATION

To make life so much easier, take the time to read the agenda paper as well as any accompanying documentation. Understanding what the meeting is about will help you to be a valuable contributor to the meeting and not ask questions that you should already know the answer to.

7.   UNDERSTAND THE JARGON

Being familiar with the language and special terms (jargon) that’s used at your new company will go a long way to helping you be confident talking in a meeting.  It’s OK to ask questions about what some terms mean, but not so much as to make you look as if you’re too junior for your job. 

8.   SEEK ADVICE

Find someone who goes to your meetings already. Ask them for a “heads up” about who attends them, what the format is and most important, what the hierarchy is.

A great person to ask is the designated Scribe (the person who writes the meeting minutes) or the admin person who sets up the meeting and distributes the approved documents. Make an effort to become their friends by offering to help them early on. You’ll find that you quickly become “one of the team” and fit in because they are key people in the mix.

9.   STAND TALL

Walk into the meeting room as the confident team member that you are. Check your body language and smile. Say hello to the room.  Be sure of yourself, but humble and others will be happy to include you. 

10. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

Practice talking to strangers at work. The work kitchen is the perfect place to practice.

You can introduce yourself as:

Hi, I’m [Name]. I’m the new [Role] in the [Team]. Who are you?

Here’s an example:

Hi, I’m Jane. I’m the new engineer in the Sustainability Team. Who are you?

I’ve met so many amazing people using this exact method, some of whom became lifelong friends. When you’re comfortable introducing yourself in this open and friendly manner, your network will grow exponentially, leading to your being elevated to the “Go To Person” status! 

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11. BONUS – QUESTIONS ON NOTICE

I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you this amazing secret that nobody talks about. 

Being confident in meetings doesn’t mean that you have to know the answer to every question. Far from it! 

In fact, nobody in the meeting usually knows the answer either!

The best strategy I’ve found is to get in the habit of responding to a question that you don’t know the answer to with:

“Thanks for your question [Name – if you know it].  I’ll have to get back to you with an answer after the meeting, if that’s OK?”

9 times out of 10, it’s perfectly OK.

You look professional and confident and not left with your mouth gaping wide, with shining tears of fear in your eyes!  It’s a win/win.

The one time that the person really wants to know the answer now, you can offer:

“Let’s take this question offline, after the meeting, where we can talk about it further”.

Another gold response to save you from a tricky situation.

An extra bonus of using this strategy is that you’ll find that everyone in the meeting will be relieved that you took control and saved them from having the meeting railroaded! Go you!

I hope these help you to build your confidence in workplace meetings. Try them out and let me know in the comments how you went.

Talk to you soon.

Helen

[Article originally published on Medium.com May 2024]